Assessment Without Grades: A Relational Approach to Knowing They're Learning

By Dr. Seann Dikkers

Introduction

In a culture addicted to performance metrics, it can feel radical to suggest that grades are not only unnecessary—but often counterproductive. Yet, for thousands of years before the invention of the letter grade, humans assessed learning effectively through conversation, mentorship, and authentic experience. The move away from grades is not a new trend, but a return to a time-tested, relational approach that is especially fitting for homeschool families.

Grading, as we know it today, is a product of industrial-era schooling. It is approximately 150 years old, developed to streamline education at scale. Yet this system, while efficient, has consistently failed to capture meaningful learning. In contrast, the practice of assessing without grades—through formative, relational means—has been used for millennia and continues to foster genuine intellectual and spiritual growth.

The Flaws of Grading Systems

Grading is often thought of as an objective measure of academic performance. However, research shows it is anything but. Studies by Brookhart (2017) and Sutton (2011) reveal that grades are frequently influenced by factors unrelated to learning—such as compliance, attendance, attitude, and subjective teacher perceptions. Despite rubrics and formal assessment tools, teachers still tend to assign grades from instinct, layering in personal judgment. As Sutton concluded, even trained educators routinely “made up grades off the top of their head” despite formal evaluation structures in place.

Moreover, grades often distort motivation. Alfie Kohn (1999), in his landmark book Punished by Rewards, argued that extrinsic incentives like grades “diminish intrinsic motivation and creativity” and focus attention on performance over understanding. In this system, a student’s identity becomes entangled with a letter, and failure becomes a statement of self-worth rather than a necessary step in the learning process.

Perhaps more troubling, grades have little to no correlation with future workplace success. Consol and Thomas (2005) found minimal connection between academic GPA and later career outcomes. What does predict success? Research from Mischel et al. (1989) on the “marshmallow test” suggests that the ability to delay gratification is far more significant. A student who can save, reflect, and persevere is more prepared for the world than one who simply earns top marks.

What Assessment Should Be

At its core, assessment means “to sit beside.” The term comes from the Latin assidere and evokes an image of relational learning—one mentor guiding a student toward maturity. In this model, assessment is not an audit but a collaboration, not a verdict but a conversation. It is formative in nature: designed to shape, guide, and inspire future learning.

This model closely mirrors biblical discipleship. Just as Jesus walked with His disciples daily, explaining, correcting, and drawing out understanding, so should educators—especially parents—walk with their children. In this sense, assessment becomes deeply personal and inherently spiritual.

Formative vs. Summative Assessment

A critical distinction in assessment theory is between formative and summative assessment. Formative assessment is ongoing, relational, and designed to support the learning process as it unfolds. It includes the conversations, retellings, projects, and reflections that help students grow and improve. Its purpose is to inform instruction and guide students toward mastery. In contrast, summative assessment is evaluative and occurs at the end of a learning cycle—typically in the form of tests, final grades, or standardized benchmarks. Summative assessments aim to categorize or rank achievement, but they often do so in ways that are disconnected from how and why learning actually happens. As Brookhart (2017) notes, formative assessment is “the bridge between teaching and learning,” whereas summative tools tend to function as a finish line, not a guidepost. In a homeschool setting, formative assessment naturally aligns with the rhythms of discipleship and individualized instruction, making it a more meaningful measure of both progress and potential.

Practical Methods for Formative Assessment

For homeschool parents transitioning to project-based learning, several practical strategies can replace traditional grading while offering deeper insight into student growth.

1. Conversations

Perhaps the most powerful assessment tool is conversation. Talking with your child before, during, and after learning activities offers real-time feedback and a chance to draw out understanding. For example, before reading a chapter, ask what they think will happen. During the reading, encourage them to identify themes or make predictions. Afterwards, debrief: What surprised them? What resonated?

Socratic questioning, in particular, teaches students to define their terms, clarify their thoughts, and refine their beliefs. This method encourages careful thinking and language development—skills far more enduring than memorized facts.

2. Retellings and Narratives

When students retell what they’ve learned, they demonstrate mastery. Whether recounting a story to a grandparent or summarizing a science experiment at dinner, the act of narration reinforces understanding and communication skills.

As Wiggins and McTighe (2005) argue in Understanding by Design, true understanding is demonstrated through transfer—the ability to explain and apply knowledge in new contexts. Narration cultivates this depth of comprehension far more effectively than standardized tests.

3. Project-Based Learning

Projects engage students in hands-on, integrated learning. A well-designed project doesn’t just reinforce knowledge—it applies it. From building a model of the tabernacle in Minecraft to conducting a physics experiment with homemade rockets, projects make learning real.

As Larmer, Mergendoller, and Boss (2015) emphasize, “Projects should be the main course, not dessert.” In other words, they shouldn’t be an add-on at the end of a unit, but the very mode through which learning is experienced and assessed.

Projects also develop critical workplace and life skills: collaboration, iteration, planning and deadlines.

4. Portfolios

Portfolios collect evidence of learning over time. Whether digital or physical, they allow students to showcase their growth and reflect on their progress. Portfolios can include: writing samples, photos of completed projects, nature journals, math achievement records, artistic creations, and personal reflections.

Portfolios help students take ownership of their learning. They become the curators of their educational journey. They also align closely with what many colleges now value in homeschool applicants: depth, originality, and a record of independent work (Ray, 2017).

5. Oxford-Style Conversations

Modeled after the University of Oxford, this approach centers around oral examinations and long-term mentorship. Rather than rotating through multiple teachers, a student works under one advisor—often a parent or family mentor—who tracks their learning over time.

This method is rigorous, personal, and effective. In fact, oral exams remain the gold standard at the graduate level because they reveal how well a learner can articulate, defend, and synthesize their ideas.

Oxford-style assessment fosters both humility and confidence. As Dikkers notes, “You’re never giving them a bad grade. You’re just saying, you’ve got some more to learn.”

The Power of Audience

One often overlooked aspect of assessment is audience. Learning gains significance when it is shared. Whether a child presents their project to grandparents, performs for the church, or uploads a podcast, the presence of an audience raises the stakes—and the motivation.

Real-world audiences bring authenticity to learning. They teach communication, accountability, and the reality that sometimes, there are no do-overs. They also offer feedback that’s more memorable than a red pen.

Reclaiming Assessment as Discipleship

Homeschooling offers a remarkable opportunity to reclaim assessment as an act of discipleship. When we sit beside our children, guiding them through thoughtful learning, we reflect the very nature of Christ’s ministry. As Romans 12:2 reminds us, transformation comes through the renewal of the mind. This doesn’t happen through grades. It happens through relationship, conversation, failure, growth, and trust.

Parents, you don’t need to abandon rigor to abandon grades. On the contrary, assessing without grades is often more rigorous, more joyful, and more aligned with the real world. You’ll find that when your child shares what they’ve built, explained, or taught, there is no question of whether they’ve learned.You’ll already know.

References

- Brookhart, S. M. (2017). How to Use Grading to Improve Learning. ASCD.

- Consol, T., & Thomas, D. (2005). Grading and Reporting Student Learning. NASSP Bulletin.

- Kohn, A. (1999). Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes. Houghton Mifflin.

- Larmer, J., Mergendoller, J. R., & Boss, S. (2015). Setting the Standard for Project Based Learning. ASCD.

- Mischel, W., Shoda, Y., & Rodriguez, M. L. (1989). Delay of gratification in children. Science, 244(4907), 933-938.

- Ray, B. D. (2017). Research Facts on Homeschooling. National Home Education Research Institute.

- Sutton, R. E. (2011). Assessing without grades: Confessions of a converted teacher. Phi Delta Kappan, 93(2), 60–64.

- Wiggins, G., & McTighe, J. (2005). Understanding by Design. ASCD.